Gay younger and older
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Let two men in their sixties fall in love. You tell the truth.
A good story entertains; however, a great one bridges generations.
Why Some of Us Pull Away—and Why We Shouldn’t
Let’s name it: some younger men feel judged. They have it.
Want to write layered, queer-centered fiction with depth and heart? A fascinating read, Daddies of a Different Kind breaks many commonly held stereotypes about gay and bisexual life.
John R.
Ballew, M.S. is a Licensed Professional Counselor based out of Atlanta , Georgia. Some older men carry biases, too. He bought into a cultural teaching that young cute guys are “the best.” He realized he experienced temporary relief from his inner critic when he was able to “bed the best.”
During our work together Alan began to heal his shame and learned to appreciate his own body.
Instead, daddies mentor younger adult men and transmit knowledge intergenerationally, including how to navigate homophobia, access gay communities, and have fulfilling sex. They’re the ones who carry the torch.
So light up your work with characters who’ve been around the block—and still own it.
Your Story Gets Better When You Listen to Theirs
Younger queer writers have every right to tell their own truths—and they do so with brilliance.
Invite nuance. Writers need that.
Closing the Notebook, Opening the Door
If you’re writing queer stories, don’t stop at Gen Z. Older Gays Matter, so Reach across the generations. Some of us can bend our attractions, but few of us can change them dramatically.
If you want to expand the age range of the people you date, and are prepared to consider this with self-compassion, then the following stories about gay men I’ve worked with might be helpful:
“Alan” (all names have been changed)
Alan, a large man in his mid-forties, always hated his body and has struggled with his weight for his entire life.
It doesn’t care about crow’s feet or how fast someone walks. You know, when Judy Garland played on the jukebox, and someone they loved finally said yes.
As a writer, you want depth? Let a 23-year-old find an unlikely friendship that changes everything.
It’s all about perspective—and your readers will feel the difference.
They’ve Seen It All—and Still Show Up
The older gay generation didn’t grow up in a time of affirming TV shows and rainbow capitalism.
What is most important is that you continue to deconstruct the “made up” conventions about age disparity in relationships.
When you learn to accept your sexuality you will find your relationships, sex life, and happiness improve. Watched marriage equality bloom.
Older Gays Matter
A blog for writers, readers, and anyone who forgot there was a world before TikTok—and stories before swipe-ups.
By Gunther Allen
🌀 “You’ll Be One Someday”
Let’s start here—because it’s true—Older Gays Matter.
And when you build your inner resources, usually you get more of what you want in life.
Daddies of a Different Kind: Sex and Romance Between Older and Younger Adult Gay Men
An intimate look at gay and bisexual daddies and their younger partners
Over the past several years the term “daddy” has increased in popularity.
These stories may or may not resonate with you. He is a painter who loves beauty and will even take the time to drive around the block to enjoy the visual of an attractive young guy walking down the street.
He has always been attracted to younger guys physically, but emotionally he feels more connected and compatible with guys his own age of 50.
We craft characters who evolve, who carry trauma and humor in the same bag.